An inquisitive tour of Flemington's mythical Birdcage leaves many media birdwatchers feeling that the exotic breeds that made the racetrack party zone famous may have become extinct.
While a hunt for royal game Zara Phillips appears fruitless for many, the exclusive enclosure appears to have reached the stage where celebrity-hungry photographers outnumber the stars themselves.
The 2003 carnival — when the world wasn't yet tired of the Hilton sisters and Paris and Nicky sent Melbourne into a week-long frenzy — appears light years away.
The Emirates marquee stands big and bold as you would expect from the day's major sponsor.
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The Bollywood-themed two-storey behemoth welcomes its patrons with live Indian music and a fountain filled with rose petals.
While there is a betting facility inside, the cocktail bar and tea stand appear more popular.
The balcony features prime viewing of the track, but appears more popular as a smoker's retreat than a viewpoint.
Hollywood starlet Sophie Monk kindly offers to drop her cigarette for a swarming pack of photographers who all appear disappointed with the celebrity numbers among the revellers.
Some are hunting Zara Philips — who the PR girl insists is somewhere inside — but none seem to be familiar with what the young royal looks like.
Perhaps one needs to crack the top ten in line for the throne to be globally recognisable.
The Emirates marquee attracts plenty of envious stares from outsiders and, as the day and drinks wear on, an increasing number of bold bluffers attempt to slip past security on the door.
Outside, former and current Collingwood stars Nathan Buckley and Dane Swan clearly weren't backing a winner as they refused a confident peddler trying to sell Melbourne Cup pins.
Despite putting his arm around both Magpie favourites and insisting the money was for charity, his only reward was a pat on the back.
"Ridiculous," he muttered as he walked away shaking his head.
The nearby Lexus steel cube marquee looked stylish from the outside but again had photographers scrounging for celebs.
The employee on the door ensures the media that they are aiming for a more "corporate market" rather than famous faces to enjoy their mini hamburgers and cocktails.
Further disappointing the few punters inside was the lack of racetrack viewing — as the much smaller and demure AAMI weatherboard gazebo somehow managed to sneak in between them and the fence.
Guests must instead settle for a pair of 60-inch plasmas.
The James Boags facility went in a different direction, with vines and wood panels covering the walls and roof.
MasterChef finalist and former professional golfer Lucas Parsons has his trademark sweaty look of determination on his face as he mans the barbeque.
While he cheerfully plays along with some friendly ribbing from patrons, he admits it was a bit harder to take from fellow television wanna-be chefs who enjoyed stirring him up while enjoying the complimentary beverages during Saturday's Derby Day celebrations.
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